Personal Outcry, the thoughts and turning point of a 15 year old black boy in the South

I sit and wonder why I am who I am. I wonder, why I am shunned, hated, resented. Much to my dissatisfaction, more often than not, these actions are perpetrated effectively by my own. These actions are executed directly or indirectly through the notion that any non-conformist is a betrayer of the race. Any betrayer of the race is the portrayal of the opposite race. I will not bother to delve into the intricate initiation techniques of my race in which one must satisfy a certain dress code, moral code, and futuristic view. Through these techniques we defame, diminish, and slowly erase what the greats of the past fault so hard to reverse. 

I am not white; I do not act white; and I do not long to be white. There is no more demeaning an act as to refuse to accept the fact that your own can be different, successful, and be true. The total refusal to accept this can deepen the very racial suppression we are fighting.

I am proud to be black. I love it; I embrace it; and, I will never forget it. My skin is merely bleached by the glasses and contact lenses of some in my own black family, and my tears, over the years, have grown to be a Teflon coat on my skin. Although in an obviously different way, I am as resilient as my brothers before me. This is what motivates me and makes me "blacker", in a sense, than those who criticize me, because I am resilient; I institute the classic black ways of optimism and belief that any betterment of an individual black person is the betterment of us all.

I am who I am because of what I have gone through and thus will never forget it, never hide it, and always embrace it. I am Brenden Sherrer a strong, smart, and tough black man in principles and style. But, I will not give up on my people. If I did then all the previous statements were made in eloquent hypocrisy.

In Dr. King’s pamphlet The Measure of a Man, he suggest the way in which we should approach life as respecting yourself, helping and believing in your neighbor, and last and most importantly embracing your faith. So I have to help and continue to believe in my neighbor. As a leader I have a God sent responsibility, and in my opinion the most powerful gift of all, to ensure that I do the best I can to lead in a positive and inspiring manner. Especially, to those who shun, hate, and resent me, but help not out of spite, but out of the understanding that they were pre-destined to come off the assembly line of pre-packaged black stereotypes that the American system often produces.

There is nothing in America harder than being a black man. I am not one to indulge in self-pity or one to pull the race card, but I am a realist, and reality is when it comes to an individuals combination of race and gender there is nothing harder than being a black man. That is just how the cards are stacked. This is in part because of stereotypes and assumptions that are made by everyone and are frequently internalized as fact. Perception is reality, but when self suppression is rampant perception must change from within. 

It is my duty, it is my obligation, it is my destiny, to ensure that the many blessing that were afforded me in life do not die with the success that is sure to come. It is my moral obligation to ensure that those who follow me, with the caged concept of individual ambition and success that runs contrary to the majority’s beliefs, will have an avenue that is not hampered by intra-race obstacles. It’s generally a goal of most, to give those who come after them, no matter how small or how large, more than was given to them. It is my belief that no one’s individual success is complete without providing a means to have others follow the path they have trod.

John Donne said, “No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” 

Our ambitions, dreams, and drive are slowly dying day by day. Day by day we surrender our time, our future, and our souls, to the inclinations of the mis-informed. This is what damns our race time and time again; this is what maliciously murders our opportunities to overcome our hardships, pre-destined setbacks, and life struggles.  I hear the bell tolling and we have to answer it all together as one. Just as this problem is all ours, it will take just as many to fix.