A Final Letter to the 44th President

It is important and, on this day, appropriate for me to articulate my affinity for President Obama for the archives of my soul.

I have admired you as a leader from your entrance onto the national stage; and, as odd as it may seem, it isn’t primarily because you lead the greatest country known to man. I admire you as a leader, Mr. President because you give strength to those who share my lifelong struggle. My lifelong struggle isn’t growing up around violence, lack of parental support and structure, or an impoverished lack of means. I recognize that this struggle exists. 

In contrast, my struggle has come from the tiresome day-to-day need to remind myself that intellect, education, and striving towards enlightenment are gifts and an intellectually romantic journey that should never be taken as a hindrance or an undesirable quality or pursuit in any society; and we especially should fight the putrid nature of that assertion amongst our own people. 

More than many know, education and it's pursuit are not properly uplifted in our country and community. It's my experience that many demands that you simplify your vocabulary, refrain from having a hearty conversation about the issues of the day, and curb your intellectual interests for the often time simplistic taste of the rest of the room; and if you don’t comply, bucking that trend will lead to being socially ostracized, deemed pompous and arrogant, and/or closed and guarded. 

In my experience, this wasn’t because I or others like me and you possessed a superiority complex; sometimes it was because the interests of the room aren’t stimulating, are steeped in relics of the past, and are hostile towards forceful and confident brothas. Often times the culprit behind such demands of refraining don’t care to understand or acknowledge that it is just as hard to turn off my interest and culture as a black man as it is for a closed mind to welcome them. 

Often times the gifts we’re given both present us with unrivaled happiness and splendor, but almost always in the same breath bring about sorrow and tumult. You are a living and breathing image that, although intellect itself isn’t the sole criteria for our place and acceptance in this world, the passionate pursuit of learning, understanding, and the refusal of allowing a glass ceiling on knowledge to be erected above us is how we acquire the necessary life lessons that mold our view of the world currently and create the blueprints of where we wish it to be in our future.

I was raised to be a common man who seeks to do uncommon things. I hail from a small town in Arkansas, where thankfully I was insulated from many of the destructive and mind-warping factors that took place sometimes right outside my door, by parents whose number one objective in life was to do for us what was not done for them. I know the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I do believe that absence makes the heart grow stronger or weaker and that it lies within us to choose which stem of the Y in the road we shall take when absence inevitably enters our lives.

 There is nothing more lonely and solitary than being thought unworthy to sit at a table you've earned a right to sit and head. You, sir, will have an indelible place in the consciousness of many young Americans, not just because you will have occupied the highest office in the land for eight years and thus will have trained young people far and wide not to be surprised by the ascension, abilities, and competence of a Black man; moreover, you will leave an indelible mark most importantly because of the poise, the zeal, and example you show as a father and as a husband and as a leader. 

 That matters to me; that matters because it reinforces the notion that “standing for something” is an endless internal war waged against the outside forces of society; and, in this war, if you stay resolute, confident, and possess an unwavering belief in the crux of your positions then you will occupy the moral high ground to which no one can lay siege.

I see and I feel and I’ve witnessed from afar, the fear you have of failing your family, and it’s ever infectious to me… I get it. Often times the fear of fatherhood and marriage scares men away from the most beautiful challenge known to man and that’s the providing for and guiding of a family. Through your example and willingness to show your affection for your wife and your children, you speak to the fact that there is no manlier a mission than to display vulnerability in the face of those which we most fear failing.

But, we can’t let the fear of failure cripple us as a people, render us frozen in time, and lead us towards an all-out pursuance of that which is fleeting and irresponsible. We must run towards the beautiful challenge of fatherhood and marriage, lean into our friendships and our fellow citizens. You help us channel the fear of failing our family, to drive us, inspire us, and keep us from allowing the fear of failure to absolve us of our responsibilities.

By your example, you have earned the right to implore us, as you forcefully and simplistically wrote in your speech to the Men of Morehouse, to be, “Men who refuse to be afraid, men who refuse to be afraid.” And, more important than proving true manliness by taking pride in raising your kids and treating your wife with love and respect, is the fact that it is, simply put, the right and just thing to do. Doing what is right isn’t subject to a rubric of convenience and ease; we should go to the great and tiresome lengths necessary to do what’s right, no matter what, because it’s our responsibility to exhibit in our everyday practice, the standard those we care for should work towards individually and accept nothing short of in others.

But grace is your greatest trait, the grace of the soul withstands the pelting of naysayers to ultimately see the fundamental good in us all. 

Thank you for 8 years, and may we have success moving forward no matter who leads us.